teenytinytaylor posts
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This photo makes me miss my hair so much. I think about her..
This photo makes me miss my hair so much. I think about her almost every day. When I first cut it off, I rushed home and covered all the mirrors, threw myself on the ground and cried. Well first I screamed "I'M BALD" and then I didn't stop crying for several days. I couldn't figure out why I had done what I had just done. Why I had made such an extreme move that didn't need to be made. I can answer that now: I seek extreme change in hopes of it creating extreme change. I'll move across the country, leave my ap...
As I look at her...I simultaneously feel bad for her, miss h..
As I look at her...I simultaneously feel bad for her, miss her and am so fucking thankful I am no longer her. And yet we'll never be separated. She'll forever live inside of me. And whisper terrible nothings in my ear when I feel the weakest. "You fucked up because you're a fuck up" "You're lonely because you're alone" "You'll never be good enough because you're not good enough" We spend the most time with ourselves. And if we spend that entire time trash talking our own potential, it's...
My photography in that loft hit an entirely new level. Becau..
My photography in that loft hit an entirely new level. Because I never stopped shooting. Because I couldn't sit still. Because I was afraid of being broke. That would have never been true. I have parents that would never allow me to be homeless or hungry regardless if I chose to make my money with a camera or with my cunt. And that's the part that gives me the most regret about my actions in this realm. It would be one thing to make that choice consciously, regardless of their judgement, if that's what I felt to be true. Which i...
I had such a love-hate relationship with this loft. It was t..
I had such a love-hate relationship with this loft. It was the first time I was really proud of a space I lived in. And I allowed my internal dialogue to fuck it all up. I demonized it. Saying it kept me isolated. Stuck in work attempting to afford it. Stuck in sickness dealing with 100-year-old building problems like mould and dust. But in reality, a room could never be a demon. This all only existed inside. On the outside, the part I never gave gratitude to until it was too late, this place was the beginning of my career as a freelancer. ...
I've felt like this for the majority of those 7 years. Trapp..
I've felt like this for the majority of those 7 years. Trapped inside myself and pretending anything else was true. Leaning into hyper sexuality and online validation in attempts to create a truth I felt more comfortable with. The thing that has actually given me the most comfort came within the last 6 months - and it's been accepting that maybe I was wrong about it all. And how good it can feel to admit when you're wrong.
This photo will be 7 years old this December... That almost..
This photo will be 7 years old this December... That almost feels like an impossibility. Maybe it's because I feel like those 7 years flew by. Maybe it's because I feel regret for how some of that time was spent (and with who) Regardless, I choose to love it for what it is. And I call it "Dead Bug"
Some of my first self portraits were shot with the first len..
Some of my first self portraits were shot with the first lens he lent me. What these have come to represent since then is beyond what I could have ever imagined while capturing them. I just wanted to make something pretty he would be impressed by. It's funny how the subconscious has a way of sneaking in...
As you've potentially noticed, there has been a massive shif..
As you've potentially noticed, there has been a massive shift in this environment. As there have been massive shifts in my world. And it took over 365 days for me to accept that within myself and that the only time that exists is now. I cannot go back. I cannot stay here. I can only go forward. In accepting what was. What is. And what could be. And so this space and content shall continue to reflect that reality. That means rectifying my choices to "live life facefucking shame" and to truly put my money where my mouth is with t...
Hello and welcome to the future! My intention for 2023 is t..
Hello and welcome to the future! My intention for 2023 is to be more present and alive than ever before. Because otherwise...truly what's the point? This is from the first set of self-portraits I shot in I don't even know how long. After landing back in Mexico City and experiencing what felt like heartbreak deja vu (again...another story for another time) I decided I could either keep crying or I could do something with that sadness. So I got my camera out and spent my sad day crying AND creating. Not every shot was a winner or ke...
As one door closes, another opens. And if it doesn't...crac..
As one door closes, another opens. And if it doesn't...crack the window and jump out. Goodbye 2022. You've been so many things. But right now I'm just glad you're over. Please enjoy my favourite shoot of the year from one of my favourite photographers.
This year I plan to do nothing. This year has been a year of..
This year I plan to do nothing. This year has been a year of so much nothing. And yet, it has also been so full. I've gone so many places, done so many things, met so many new people, figured out so many professional quagmires. And yet, the thing I did the most of was nothing. I spent so much time with and integrating plant medicines. I spent so much time physically sick. I spent so much time heartbroken over all the lessons that were unfolding. I spent so much time just sitting. Which has been the hardest thing for me to really open up ...
Last New Years - I had food poisoning. After sitting with I..
Last New Years - I had food poisoning. After sitting with Ibogaine for Christmas in Mexico and integrating with the other program participant - who happened to be a SWer - we decided to extend our stay a few days and ring in the new year together. We spent a few days shopping and snacking and sunbathing and having some of the most gloriously weird discussions about her clients and my work and everything in between. The universe absolutely gifted her to me as my tripping partner, which is why I didn't want to say goodbye. New Years Eve, t...
What are your plans for New Years?
What are your plans for New Years?
After the last few days, how do you feel?
After the last few days, how do you feel?
Post Christmas Mood Pre Christmas Hair Humbug
Post Christmas Mood Pre Christmas Hair Humbug
Since having my hair cut, this has been my most surprising e..
Since having my hair cut, this has been my most surprising erogenous zone. Having the nape of my neck touched or held or bit has been electric. Feels like the foreskin of my head got pulled back.
Merry Christmas - if you celebrate that sort of thing. If n..
Merry Christmas - if you celebrate that sort of thing. If not...happy Saturday to the rest of us heathens. My friend suggested I rebrand my rantings to "The Pierced Vagina Monologues". How would you feel about such a thing?
What is one way your perspective has changed in the last yea..
What is one way your perspective has changed in the last year?
How do you feel about your stretch marks?
How do you feel about your stretch marks?
As aging is as inevitable as dying and one ultimately leads ..
As aging is as inevitable as dying and one ultimately leads to the other, I find it bizarre to give any additional time in the present to this eventuality. Why ruin what you have because of what will be? In the infamous wisdom of Mitch Hedberg "I don't stop eating an apple because eventually it will become a core." And if you're not familiar with his humour, it's meant to be an observation of our avoidance of present pleasure due to future pain. Or maybe I just took more from his sets than I should have.
Do you accept what cannot be changed?
Do you accept what cannot be changed?
My Claws: My relationship with my hands is interesting. I d..
My Claws: My relationship with my hands is interesting. I don't know if it's a body part many feel insecure about, but I certainly do. I grew up surrounded by arthritics complaining of what my eventual future would be. And to look at mine, even y0ung, it wasn't a far off assumption. Working with cameras and computers and repetitive stress proved to escalate this process and put me in braces in my 20s. I started semi-affectionately referring to them as my claws; thinking if I pointed them out before someone else did, that at leas...
Hands are
Hands are
What's one thing you're grateful for this season? For me - ..
What's one thing you're grateful for this season? For me - I'm grateful to somehow always manage to find the sun this time of year.
Are you looking forward to the holiday?
Are you looking forward to the holiday?
My Theory Of Yoga There are many reasons why moving your bo..
My Theory Of Yoga There are many reasons why moving your body and achieving an asana are valuable. I won't go into all of them. This is the one I hold onto. There's so much value in being definitively wrong. Subjectivity is beautiful, but having correct form and understanding the black and white between being in alignment or out of alignment creates a very concrete goal to work towards. This shouldn't be the goal of every practice, and certainly isn't for me. But sometimes it is. Sometimes the goal is to be correct and to op...
How is your relationship with movement?
How is your relationship with movement?
Masochism: Meditating with Pain Pain is inevitable. Sufferi..
Masochism: Meditating with Pain Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Pain is embedded in our DNA. Childbirth and death and growth and all the natural milestones of our flesh bags are rather physically excruciating while on the road to beauty. And there are plenty of options to avoid or numb or distract from these sensations until they become too big to deal with or too far away to access. So, if you feel pain and desire to move through it, just like pushing a baby out, the only way is through. To breathe, be with it, and trust that t...
The Scar Story - Part 2 - The Aftercare ***TRIGGER WARNING:..
The Scar Story - Part 2 - The Aftercare ***TRIGGER WARNING: BL••D*** It was one thing to have the tattoo removed in such a fashion. But to create a scar was a whole separate and equally gruesome process. For weeks following the procedure, I would have to keep it open, moist and free of scabbing. Essentially the opposite of standard healing practices. The idea is to cause as much damage to the area as possible to delay healing and build up scar tissue to form the shape. So to do so, I kept it covered with saran during the day. And durin...
Are you grounded?
Are you grounded?
