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HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! 🩷🫦 Love as we know it is a relatively..
🕑 Added 2024-02-14 14:00:09 +0000 UTC HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! 🩷🫦 Love as we know it is a relatively new idea. 💞 To fall in love, to adore from afar, to have a soulmate, just wasn’t a thing once upon a time. Why? Because we weren’t monogamous and could fuck anyone who took our fancy. Monogamy creates a tension between moral ideas on how we should live 🧠 and our primal instincts 👅, creating a feeling we now call love. 💘 We didn’t use the word love ‘til around 400 years ago. Before then, we only talked about romance. 👩❤️👨🥂 But Romance literally means ‘doing it in the Roman style’, so it all started with people pointing at Romans thinking, “What the fuck are they doing?” “Why the fuck is he buying her flowers?” 💐 “Why doesn’t he just fuck her??” 😵💫 Then we hit the medieval ages, and more importantly, the printing press. 📖 The original Harlequin novel is called King Arthur and the Round Table. 🗡️ And the gentry lapped that shit up. 🥵 Turning romance into a crazy codes of chivalry and literally fucking dying so some chick would notice you. 😘 And don’t get me fucking started on Romeo and Juliet. Juliet was 13 years old, for fuck’s sake. Shakespeare was a bit of a perve. 🤔 And to deliver the kiss of death, Valentine’s Day is really a celebration about Saint Valentine, who was martyred or killed for his beliefs in the third century. 💀 And honestly, he really didn’t give a shit about romance or what the Romans did. He died for harbouring Christians - like many people were killed in World War 2 for harbouring Jewish people. 😢 Attempts to connect him with Valentine’s Day and romance have been tried many times throughout history, but they are pretty shit – the best they can get is a legend saying he wrote a card 💌 to the daughter of his gaoler, like wtf?? ⁉️ Martyrs at that time usually died horrible deaths, so I’m sure he had other shit on his mind. 😵 So, on this 14th February, celebrate a feeling we once never had, on a day named after a bloke who really didn’t give a shit about romance. Happy Valentine’s! 💝
