I have some spare time at the doctors so I figured I'd have ..
🕑 Added 2025-06-17 19:12:56 +0000 UTC
I have some spare time at the doctors so I figured I'd have a little more personal post put together. I always joke that I have seasonal depression twice a year, winter and pride. Unfortunately the reality of that means that even the fans that paid for my Discord didn't get much attention as I... Laid in bed for half a week. Working a corporate job it's easier to show up on robot mode, clock in and clock out, so these issues while still severe aren't nearly as impactful on my day to day to life.We don't get PTO here so I'm also going to jest that you aren't truly bed rotting until you're watching penguinz0, Rossman, and TCC videos at best while feeling overburdened by the weight of your obligations, in terms of hunting for a job, paying bills, and entertaining y'all with each day adding more pressure because you didn't do anything so everything looms closer.Things are getting a little easier every month but it's not uncommon to hit the third week of the month when my favorite goth DJ is spinning on the weekend and wonder if I should spend the $10 to go to the after party or not. Or if I should spend $5-10 to get coffee to lock in and work at a cafe just for some space.It's very difficult to balance the need to leave the house for fun with the need for frugality. Depression is a terrible circle where if I worked more I would be able to do more but I can't do more because I haven't worked more. My Friday is up in the air. If you want me to stream before I go out, fill up the tip jar because there are no guarantees I'm going out or going live otherwise.I'll be hitting up the DMs soon - probably after my appointment since I was just called back xD
