Sweet Jesus! how could i show up so unfashionably late to my..
🕑 Added 2024-05-13 15:29:05 +0000 UTC
Sweet Jesus! how could i show up so unfashionably late to my favorite awareness event?? 🥵 "Hey Mark pppsst 💁♂️ pro tip: you forgot it was Mental Health Month bc your mental health is atrocious." oh yeah that I forgot. 🙇♂️ fuck. Welp I learned just recently that it makes people squirm when I tell wild carnage stories while Im still dealing with some level of ongoing mental health distress. Frankly I just couldnt get why this would be upsetting if im willingly putting this out there and chuckling about it from a hottub in California. Enough good people brought this to my attention that it was kinda really fucking with me that I seemed to be emotionally blind to this basic human response to others suffering... then one day outta the blue i had a very dark aha moment where i was able to see it from that "blindspot perspective" and...it was raw and I just felt very...different. This was shortly after I returned from the very successful NYC trip and just before Ms Yoga and I broke up. And yes that did bother me to the point where it triggered a relapse. (I believe i have 9 days sober now ftr) Its alot for sure but Ive learned in my travels the universe does not give you more than you can handle. You DO level up when you handle what it throws at you even if does not feel like you won an award or did something heroic while doing so. Even if that onus is oddly self inflicted- beating it will improve You while perhaps at the same time killing your body. Anyways Im so wake and bake stoned its...a lot. 🙃❤️ Before I elaborate on this and other LAX brain/soul anomalies (which I will be doing mostly on safe social media) let me just blurt out: im very fortunate and grateful to still be here. 🫣 I started off the LAX project as a sort of unspoken Truman Show show type thing that would be a solid rock to anchor the OF stuff to. I didnt set out to do more than amuse others and sell some dick pics on the way with what you seeing online- but i see it now. Theres a big window of opportuntiy to help others struggling with the same thingg
