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It's been a hecking rough few weeks (I feel like I need a st..
🕑 Added 2023-10-14 01:15:47 +0000 UTC It's been a hecking rough few weeks (I feel like I need a stamp of this or like on a shirt so I can just depressy selfie it with how often I end up having to start things this way 🙈) Shite got real bad and I was almost admitted inpatient, I'm still not sure how I'm doing but it's better than that at least so I'll take it. I've only gotten out into nature twice this whole year and even my own balcony maybe only about five times just from how debilitated and overwhelmed I've been with my health this whole year basically and with things spiralling downward badly despite my trying to get help I got desperate and I just thought I needed to get out into nature. When I was in me teens I was really lucky to leave near the woods and I'd spend a whole day just mucking about in a stream playing with clay or taking photos, I'd never get bored. And I don't think I ever realised how healing and integral to my being it is till I've gone so long without it. So even tho my motivation for getting out into nature was healing if course my guilt started kicking in and spiraling, the shitty voices starting up like "how can you take time off to just DO NOTHING when that's basically your every day, you have so much to do ffs! If you have energy to be uo you have energy to work!" Logically I know that voice is unhealthy but logically I also know I am not mentally well enough to ignore it entirely so I have to kinda trick myself so I went pssst I got this sweet cloak and that dress from years ago why don't we do a low key Loki look and then you have some usable content for socials that aren't half naked?? **I included some lil wip selfies I took quickly whilst I was trying to put together an "easy" look** (that still took me all night surpringing no one...) low key proud of my gold duct tape on shoulder brace "pauldron" bahah that was a 1am stroke of genius, and also a lil test makeup look👌🏻 I did make it to the horsey and he was majestic but I'm crashing hard so I'll have to share more how it went when I'm up and human again 💞 but I can't wait to see the piccies even if it was only a lil phone shoot Side note like I mentioned in my earlier post (some spicey Wednesday Addams so check that out if you pissed it), kind of related to the beginning video, I've been contemplating the idea of doing a very vulnerable and personal video update about the last month and some of my deeper struggles but it's a lot (physically and mentally) to work up to and I'm really nervous. I'm posting this video out of an attempt to get out of my comfort zone and better at being braver sharing the less glossy sides with yous, the sides I don't always feel so proud of but am trying to learn to love PS did you like the video at the start better when I smushed them all together?
