Have gone back and forth on posting something this personal,..
🕑 Added 2022-04-19 07:47:08 +0000 UTC
Have gone back and forth on posting something this personal, but maybe it will help to know that I am actively seeking to get better.
*****Real talk: What have I done to try to fix my hiatuses?*****
**Since 2016:**
⋅ *I've taken an anti anxiety medication, which made me too sleepy to function*
⋅ *I've repeatedly sought in-person therapy, which never worked*
I was in a pretty bad place up until 2021, so very little progress was made.
**2021 to now:**
⋅ *Cured my debilitating fatigue through protein shakes after reading people's fatigue success stories, which was LIFE CHANGING. Low/no protein diet was keeping me largely bedbound up until 2021. As of feb 2022, I no longer need a daily shake to function, since my diet is now high protein enough.*
⋅ *Tried online therapy, ultimately didn't work*
⋅ *Have sought help from loved ones, who would ultimately enable my behaviour (no shade to them, I love them endlessly for having tried, tried, and tried again) because they didn't know how to help, or would get frustrated*
⋅ *Hired an online accountability coach.. and was too anxious to open his daily dms. Sadly had to cancel*
⋅ *2 months ago, I began weight lifting. I've gone 3x/week without missing a day because I love it so much. My mood is the most stable it has ever been thanks to it. The darkest clouds have lifted, but I still can't see the blue sky, even though I know it's there.*
⋅ *Spending more time outdoors recently, which is helping.*
⋅ *This week, I'm meeting an agency for in-person care (possibly wrong translation, but they'll be coming to my home to check in on me often)*
⋅ *In 3 weeks, I'll be skydiving in an attempt to help curb my anxiety. I'll be posting the video on twitter.*
If I haven't responded to you in months, especially with customs, trust me, I'm feeling the same way about myself as you may be. But please know, I am actively seeking help.
I hope I can earn back your trust and support, and have the best year of my life - so far! - these next 8 months.
