Earlier this week, my guide for my healing trip ghosted me. ..
🕑 Added 2021-12-04 16:43:26 +0000 UTC
Earlier this week, my guide for my healing trip ghosted me. We didn’t bang. We just spent 3 days together helping me open up and generating super positive vibes. He let me know he caught feelings for me and he can’t facilitate my last session. He’s ghosted me while I’m on the brink of a breakthrough via a therapy I wouldn’t even have known existed if I didn’t randomly find him in a MMO 😂
Whew.
I’ve been a little unstable lately because when you do this work, you have to keep the trauma bond you’re trying to break fronted. If you want a successful trip and want to dissolve that bond trauma has to your body, you have to be honest about it. You can’t hide from it. The last one I have is in my chest. It’s very old and is attached to my first conscious memories. It’s related to my personal trauma and it’s connected to generational trauma in my family. Which is a cycle I’ve worked my whole life to try to stop and heal.
We have mounting scientific evidence generational trauma and other sensory alerts can be passed down via DNA. It can make children of traumatized mothers more susceptible to mental health issues, inherently raised chemicals relating to pain/pleasure receptors and so forth. It’s fascinating.
So, all the shame, anger, abandonment, anxiety, etc that originates from this place and trauma have all been made supple. They’re all mobile and malleable and gurgling around in my chest. I’ve been extremely sensitive.
And I know I’ve been saying that for a year. The truth is tho, guys, you’ve all be instrumental in this journey of healing. And I am so incredibly thankful everyday for it. I wish you understood what a profound affect it’s having on me, my family and my ability to uplift and help members of my social circles begin their own journeys.
I’m working on a couple of solutions to try to purge this trauma. If this one doesn’t work, I’ll have another chance end of January. I’m worried without him there and without him being a conduit for certain energy, I won’t be able to do it. But I’m gonna try.
We need to heal these wounds and break these cycles of generational trauma. We’ve been given the messaging by toxic social expectations to buck up and keep it moving. But when you try to stop pain - instead of letting it breathe - when you try to ignore all the energy it generates in that moment…. It doesn’t go away. It transmutes and bonds to you. And it hurts.
We don’t all need to be hurting. We can bear down on this pain until we are ready to release the pressure. We have the power as individuals to heal and to give out love unconditionally which causes a ripple effect in our lives and communities.
You all help me give so much love and support to so many people and organizations working on taking these nets we are all trapped in and re-weaving them into blanket we vibe under together.
❤️❤️❤️
