Hey everyone,,
Over the last 5 1/2 years, I have made it my..
🕑 Added 2023-03-25 17:37:45 +0000 UTC
Hey everyone,,
Over the last 5 1/2 years, I have made it my priority to put out a significant amount of content for my supporters, and during that time I set the expectation that I would always be "on" and ready to roll. With that being said, it's clear I'm going through a period of grieving and burnout that I didn't anticipate, and I haven't been as "on" this month as I've been the last several years.
As I've mentioned several times recently, I have been dealing with a lot of grief surrounding the loss of a few close friends, my neighbor, and an old co-worker I was very close with. Most recently, we lost my best friend's fiancé last week. Each of these events has happened nearly back to back, and I haven't had any time to reflect and process my emotions throughout any of this last year.
During this time of creative burnout and exhaustion, I have still been trying my best to log on everyday, engage, and film as much as my mind and body allow me to. As it stands right now, I need to make sure I'm focusing on my own healing process and allowing myself to regain the weight I've lost, put more on and get into a routine that serves this lifestyle well. I am depressed that I'm not the size I should be, and I feel like every time I psych myself out over it, I'm reversing more and more of the progress I made during the gain. The constant stress in the back of my mind from content creation does more harm than good to my appetite most days, and I need to start approaching this from another angle. I want to be clear, this isn't goodbye or see you later, this is "you may not see as much of me everyday during this time." I will still film, post photos and get in touch with y'all, but I need to loosen my belt and not be so strict on myself regarding exact dates, times and frequency.
I understand if you are only here to jack off, get as much content in as you can and get the most for your money. That's a lot of what porn is, right? During this time where I may not be posting as much, I won't be offended if you feel it's in your best interest to leave or put your money into another creator, as there's many talented guys out there who are pushing the gaining envelope in extreme ways. However, I do hope that after all these years of dedicated filming, posting and updating, that me easing up a little for this time isn't too much to ask and it doesn't come off entitled or advantageous.
I will eventually get back to daily uploads, extreme gains, live videos and the whole lot, but I feel like I'll get back there a lot faster if I dedicate this time to working through my grief and pain.
I am not disappearing, I just wanted to be as honest and candid as I have been from the start. Hope to see some of you stick around for the big 500.
Love, HCP
