It’s been two months and my paralysis is still bad. I’m thin..
🕑 Added 2023-02-04 13:56:36 +0000 UTC
It’s been two months and my paralysis is still bad. I’m thinking I’ll need to see a physical therapist, a neurologist and someone who does lymphatic drainage massages. I’m so fucking upset over this. My frustrations wax and wane but now that I’m almost two months post op I’m really starting to worry about if it’s permanent or not. This severely affects how I view myself and the hurdles just seem never ending. I can’t afford all these treatments if I don’t work but my self esteem is god awful and having to put myself out there sexually on the internet while I feel horrible about my self is basically impossible. I’m really fucking struggling mentally, physically and financially. I’ve been through so much with this disease and this surgery, paying over 140k for this and now the bills just don’t stop adding up in order to even mitigate the aftermath of what I just went through. It’s all just too much. I need money, but I make money off my appearance, my appearance which is severely affected due to this. I want to regret having this surgery but I can’t because I was in so much physical anguish pre op that I can’t regret it because I NEEDED this surgery in order to even live a normal life. Some days are just so much harder than others and I feel like it’s going to get worse from now on since each day where the paralysis doesn’t get better there’s more chance it’s permanent. Please send me good thoughts.
