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Some dirty selfies from a dirty mirror for your Saturday. 💋 ..
🕑 Added 2022-09-03 15:43:14 +0000 UTC Some dirty selfies from a dirty mirror for your Saturday. 💋 Do you have a favorite out of these #13? I’ve been reading a new book on communication called “Hold Me Tight,” and it’s fantastic. I’m realizing so many of these techniques can be used for caring communication between people of all relationship types or even strangers. Trying to understand the motivation behind a person’s behavior is crucial to responding in a way that is soothing instead of inflammatory. ❤️ There are so many examples of how environment and relationship history contribute to how people treat each other. In the US, there is constant fear-based propaganda of “this marginalized group of people is coming to take this from you/change your way of life/harm the ideas you hold dear so THEY are the enemy.” And so we see many people literally blaming immigrants, LGBTQ folks and those of different spiritual beliefs who have NO POWER whatsoever for the problems of society, instead of the billionaires responsible for shaping our lives. What makes them inclined to believe the lies? A society of artificial scarcity with zero safety net, which has the threat of homelessness and/or starvation constantly hanging over their heads. Or a childhood spent in poverty and that person finally having some sense of stability they fear losing. Does it justify their behavior? No, but there are reasons for it, and if we keep those in mind when we are trying to persuade them we can be much more effective and patient. 🥰 A lot of people are very impatient with me in this line of work. If I take any amount of time to respond to them somewhere, they are sending back to back to back messages. To a busy person like me, it feels ungrateful and unappreciative of just how many different responsibilities are involved in running a page like mine that delivers such massive amounts of content and prioritizes messaging. In reality, those folks probably have abandonment issues that cause them to interpret any pause in connection as someone permanently leaving them, because it’s something they have experienced before and it left it scar. I’m not saying it’s easy to maintain this level of understanding when people are coming at us in completely the wrong way. It certainly isn’t. But it is a goal to strive for. Being understanding and kind is free. And if we try to understand motivations instead of harshly judging behavior immediately, it allows both parties to learn and grow. 😊
