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how was your week? mine was…….. i had another great week ..
🕑 Added 2020-08-16 19:10:45 +0000 UTC how was your week? mine was…….. i had another great week although my sleep and diet could’ve been better. i’ve felt connected, inspired, and motivated all week, which is super rare for me to feel like this 7 days in a row! my creativity has been flowing through me and i’m acting on it. i’m also feeling more social, connecting with more women in the industry. which honestly, feels amazing even though it’s through a computer screen. my friends irl don’t understand the grind, they still don’t really see my job as a job. it’s heartbreaking honestly. and i’m losing some of them. one of them told me “you’ve changed a lot, not bad, but you’re different.” and my response (in my head) was “oh, you mean i’ve drastically changed from 18-25?! isn’t that supposed to happen?” or “yeah, when im not reacting to everything in my life with a trauma based/PTSD mindset, I’m going to present differently..” i guess the ones who are worth being my friend will stick around for the shift. the ones who aren’t can leave. I’m just grateful to everyone of YOU who has stuck with me throughout all my change. i’m a completely different person from when I was 18 and i dont think it’s fair of anyone close to me to expect that i would stay the sane. if I did stay the same…….oh man. that would be scary. really scary. … i just started the detox part of my journey back to help: healing both my autoimmune diseases. it’s pretty aggressive and i thought id feel much worse than I do but I’m feeling okay. I start the day by swallowing silver (it’s not as bad as it sounds!!) then one hour after i take an antibiotic I take what’s called “biofilm” enzymes that are supposed to help repair my gut wall (my gut wall has holes in it, letting all kinds of stuff leak into my bloodstream, causes my body to attack itself.) then about 15 minutes after i take natural herbs such as oregano oil, rosemary oil, thyme oil, etc. THEN i can eat! i repeat this sequence twice a day. the silver and the antibiotics are supposed to kill anything bad growing in my gut. above is “phase one” of the protocol. there are three phases. supposedly, it’s going to cause a lot more inflame the deeper we go and i’ll see it through my skin. crazy right?! but damn i hope i can come off of all my autoimmune medications when we fix my insides! that’s the goal and im SOOO hopeful for it. … I’m visiting another model this week. this will be my friend ever model friend. I’m both extremely nervous and incredibly excited. we’re going to make content together, and while i’m excited, i’m a bit worried i’m not as talented as I thought. this will be a humbling experience, for sure. but everyone has always said I have talent, an eye, and a drive to be creative. i just have to believe it and bring that confidence with me when we’re shooting. I’m going to learn so much! soooo much. i’m fucking ready. that was my week :) how about you? how was your week?
