LONG POST INCOMING
I've had a lot of time to think about my..
🕑 Added 2022-08-24 13:23:56 +0000 UTC
LONG POST INCOMING
I've had a lot of time to think about my content while I've been healing from surgery. I've had a lot of ups and downs, highs and lows on my OF. The difference between my best and worst months are STAGGERING. I've had 3 different managers, and now I have 2 different accounts (one free and one paid) that I manage both on my own. I used to have a photographer but now I only take my own photos 90% of the time.
So as you can tell I've tried many things over the past few years! This is my ONLY job technically, aside from restarting my career as a cosplayer recently (guest announcements soon muah). I don't really have plans to do anything else any time soon! I really like cosplay and I really like doing this.
*So my question to you is: What can I do better? What do you want to see? *
I'm not going to stop making content anytime soon, don't worry! I think I just need to liven things up a bit and I need your advice, since you guys are the ones consuming my media.
I often find it exhausting to keep up with work. Maybe because it doesn't feel rewarding? I do believe I am insecure with myself. Even though I try not to compare myself to others, my subconscious simply can't help it. Sometimes it can also be really hard to look at myself while making content. What I mean by that is, when you see hundreds of pictures of yourself each month it can get mentally tiring. Not to mention from so many angles!
I'd say I'm pretty confident in my looks, but I think just having to look at myself ALL the time is what gets to me. Not much I can do about that though unless I want to pay for another manager (which I don't, plus I like personally interacting with you all).
It's so daunting for me to do my hair and makeup, shave my everything, and sit down and take a bazillion pictures and videos. I guess I'm just not sure how other people do it so often? Especially with how life has been lately, it's not like I'm a robot who's only task is to take lewds.
I just wanted to share my stream of consciousness with you all! I hope it's not like... depressing LOL I more so just want you all to understand how I feel!
I'm hopefully moving within the next couple of weeks! Maybe the change in environment will help? The house I live in now has a lot of bad memories attached to it and has gotten cluttered over the past 2 years.
