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A LIFE & WORK UPDATE - PLEASE READ In the first few days of..
🕑 Added 2021-03-21 16:18:59 +0000 UTC A LIFE & WORK UPDATE - PLEASE READ In the first few days of March 2020 I returned to making porn. I have written about my comeback a lot at my blog. I write to process my experiences and my return has certainly been rich source material for my introspection and my writing. PORN COMEBACK AND THE PANDEMIC It has been a journey of personal pleasure most definitely. I have had some of my most amazingly intense and blissful orgasms ever while making what many of us now call isolation porn. I’ve broadened my repertoire of solo sex positions and introduced new toys and new erotic thoughts to my masturbation. As lonely as these times have been there has been the silver lining of a new phase of my erotic self-discovery. It has also been quite the thrill to share the ways I embody my sexuality as a mature woman. That has been a bit of a surprise. I didn’t expect to be as comfortable as I have been with my 40-something weight gain and all the luscious new curves I have. More than comfortable, I’ve been turned on by my own appearance. My deep self-body-love is in many ways proof that I have done the deprogramming work I needed. I have learned to not listen to a very specific judgemental and controlling voice in my head that says I must look a certain way to be commercially desirable. This voice in real-life asked me on a daily basis, did you work out? I no longer have to shhh the internalized version because I hardly ever hear it anymore. It took ten years but it’s so faint now. Barely a whisper. MONEY MATTERS Not quite so successful is the cost-benefit aspect of my comeback. It has been a hit and miss endeavour. It has taken me the entire year to find a way to use fan sites in a way that suits my strengths, connects with fans who want what I have to share AND doesn’t spread me too thin. One midlife crisis burnout and one clinical depression was enough for this gal! What I have discovered that a mix of writing and softcore pics with an upsell via PPV hardcore photo sets and video clips is something that I am motivated to do and is sustainable. It is a mix of education, entertainment and introspection that is not for everyone but it is perfect for me and those folks that enjoy sexuality through the lens of authenticity, playfulness, and carnal knowledge. Radical Transparency: Creating porn in isolation has meant ALL of my new content is solo. Fans have told me they have enjoyed it but want to see me doing partnered porn again. I understand this. I hope to make hardcore swinger-style porn again. I just cannot say when. It all depends on rates of vaccination and such. FAN SITE REDUX So with that in mind I will be transforming all of my fan sites much like I did my Only Fans. They will be more like my blog with near-daily updates featuring enticing and arousing samples of my creations. I do have less time than I used to because of some family responsibilities (which I explain further below) so I need to focus my messaging time to paid exchanges. As of Monday I will only be prioritizing those with a tip. I am also going to continue camming at my preferred cam network as I not only find it extremely enjoyable and satisfying on so many levels, my time spent on cam has been much more lucrative than my time working on content creation for fan sites, clip sites and tube sites combined. Radical Transparency: In 2020 I averaged $3.83 per hour and about $600 a month on my fan sites. In three weeks of camming three mornings a week I have averaged $30.59 per hour. The only way I financially survived in 2020 was because of the Canadian Federal government’s income supplement (especially offered because of the pandemic) that expires soon. As we enter year two of the Covid-19 pandemic and my second year as my mother’s full time caregiver I need to be as efficient and productive as possible while also supporting my mental health. Camming alleviates the intense stress I have about supporting myself and saving for the future. It also is schedule-able in ways that gives me significant time to be there for family. Radical Transparency: My mother’s health is worsening. Her breast cancer is well controlled and her lung cancer is responding a bit to chemotherapy but her bone cancer is worsening. We have a tough year ahead of us as her cancer is terminal and she has as little as six-months left. All to say this new plan for my comeback is such win-win arrangement. I am so grateful for. It really is everything I wanted from my porn comeback. I get to write, express, connect, create, and share. I get to pay my bills. I get to prioritize my mental health. I get to be there for my family. Thank you so much for being a part of this. It means so much to me.
