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Today is just a day that card companies make more money. Eve..
🕑 Added 2023-02-14 05:02:10 +0000 UTC Today is just a day that card companies make more money. Every day up until this day I've been making the conscious choice to love myself truly and above all, more than anyone else in my life. Being selfish with my energy has been the most productive thing I've ever done with it. Spending less to get more means I had to close off places where leaks couldn't be repaired. And in most cases severing that tie really hurt. If you have to cut something off, it's less painful to do it in one piece rather than in chunks. I wasn't afforded that luxury, but maybe you will be. In either case, it ultimately means I have fewer humans in my inner circle at the present moment - which can certainly get lonely. But what I've been able to regain in their absence is myself. My actual self. What I'm like when I'm not worried about those who I consider extensions of me. When I'm not so deeply entrenched in their realities I can't tell them from me. And this concept of self love that once felt as foreign as Japanese has actually been a lived experience in my body on frequent occasions on this journey. Even in the depths of the loneliness and heartbreak and uncertainty, as my energy has genuinely improved, I've felt the form of love I once held onto so deeply be exchanged for one I was certain I'd never have. And that price can't be accidental. I couldn't feel this way if I still felt the way I did when attached to something else. I really don't know if one can be loved the way they want to if they can't at least define that for themselves.
