The past year has been really hard on me.. As some or most o..
🕑 Added 2021-12-10 21:58:17 +0000 UTC
The past year has been really hard on me.. As some or most of you know, I have bipolar disorder- and sometimes it's really truly debilitating, crippling. I've been very hard on myself for my inconsistency, but some days I really just haven't been able to get out of bed. It's been a year of loss for me, and I guess I hadn't really realized how hard that had hit me until recently. And I've apologized for my inconsistency but haven't been open with you about what's actually been going on with me. Around christmas last year, I lost a woman that had been a maternal figure to me for years in a time where I badly needed her- to lung cancer. A few months later, my brother and i had a physically violent falling out and we stopped speaking.. we have always been very very close until that point. Then I got a consistent job and things were looking up (even though it was kinda corporate and soul-sucking, if I'm being honest).. until a few months ago when i lost my job and my best friend ghosted me, in the same week. You'll notice i no longer talk about Vi*en or Selina. I haven't been consistent and absolutely don't deserve those of you that have stuck around, but you've allowed me to stay afloat in a time where i otherwise would've completely drowned. I'm still trying to get up and be okay, but time heals all wounds i suppose, and I can't stay down forever... so I want to make 2022 better. 2021 was absolute fucking shit for me. Idk. Anyways, I'm not sure what is next but I know I'll be streaming on twitch and trying to create structure for myself, so that I can become a more consistent performer. I have no way to repay any of you for your year of support at the moment, but I hope that someday soon I'll be in a position where I can. From the absolute bottom of my heart, thank you for your love, support, and understanding.
