rainelee
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Would like to take a break from the pre-set posts, our regul..
🕑 Added 2022-05-15 04:42:33 +0000 UTC Would like to take a break from the pre-set posts, our regular scheduled programming to share some vulnerable updates I’ve made the decision to slowly draw out of the performance artist race I performed my last burlesque act a couple weeks ago, might have performed my last gogo shift today. Not sure about that one. I might send in my availability anyway, just to keep my foot in the gogo door It’s been really hard for me but also necessary It was really hard to stay happy while dancing today It doesn’t help that I’m not really clicking with the group dynamics very well Which have me wondering if I’m just not a team player But regardless it’s just a lot. I think I’m just growing out of that chapter of my life. Battling countless obstacles such as imposter syndrome and always wanting to be more and always saying “I should be this” or that. I haven’t told alot of people this. If you know me irl and you’re subscribed to me under a different alias then whatever. That being said, I’m not dropping out of using this account or stripping. Unfortunately, SOMEHOW, onlyfans is a lot more energetically taxing for me. Mentally, at least. I struggle with replying to my regular Instagram DMs, you can only imagine how much I struggle with replying to OF DMs sometimes. Dancing for customers and connecting on the physical realm is a lot easier for me, I don’t really know why. Maybe it’s because I’m used to it and I’ve mastered my craft. Only fans is definitely a chore. Nonetheless I’ll still be on here, again, my attention is going to come in waves. When I’m out, I drift in here and there but when I’m in, I’m all in. I can’t wait for the next time I’ll be all in and all efforts for this platform. If I haven’t replied to you, please don’t take it personal, there’s just… a lot… of you. I appreciate you for understanding. I promise I have a juicy new PPV I’ll be sending out this month, I filmed it in during the PHX, Arizona shootfest. It should be ready in the near future. Today was doable; but difficult. But I made it. I’m battling one hour of sleep and I am trying my best to gain the strength to go strip tonight. It’s already midnight so I’ll be late, but weekends are usually late crowd anyway… it’s just really hard for me right now because I worked a really exhausting day shift today for my gogo job and I am only surviving off 1 hour. I need to make money though. It’s like I’m not really sure what route to take today. If I stay home and take care of myself, I’m going to beat myself up for not making money. If I go and try to work (1. It might be slow like last night) and 2. I’m going to definitely be exhausted by 6am lol Either way tho I’m still grateful these are the kinds of problems I am facing. It could be much worse. Anyways, I want to share what I have planned for the future but that’s going to have to wait for another post. I appreciate you all being subscribed to me and committing to support me through all phases of my life. Even if you can’t anymore. Even if you only just do the monthly price. It all really still means a lot to me. Thank you. - R
