girloftheforest posts
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I recently deleted all my social media apps. At the time, I ..
I recently deleted all my social media apps. At the time, I did it because I suddenly realized how dependent I’d become on scrolling—it was starting to frustrate and bother me, with my hand reaching for my phone every minute to check my feed. But now, some time later, I’ve caught myself wishing someone out there would actually notice my absence. My closest friends have my contact info, so they still easily reach out via WhatsApp or Telegram; that part’s fine. But there are others—not close enough to be called real friends, but people ...
My mom creates the most beautiful decorations for our home, ..
My mom creates the most beautiful decorations for our home, each one inspired by the current holiday. She always says she’s simple and straightforward, but through that simplicity, she brings out what she loves so perfectly—through objects, arrangements, handmade creations. She’s done all kinds of crafts and has been embroidering for over ten years. She started when I first had to cross-stitch for a school project. It frustrated me since I had so much other homework, and this kind of work tested my patience, as I’ve always leaned toward...
I’m so glad to be heading home to lie in my own bed and look..
I’m so glad to be heading home to lie in my own bed and look at the linden tree outside my window. The doctor told me that people don’t truly want to die, and that I only feel this way because I’m very ill. But I don’t understand—how can someone wake up, feel the weight of their body, hear their thoughts, have responsibilities, and not wish to disappear? I’m not necessarily talking about bad experiences. There have been many wonderful and vivid moments in my life, but whenever I came back home, I would always think—this was great,...
I went to the doctor, and she recommended that I eat more ve..
I went to the doctor, and she recommended that I eat more vegetables, so I treated myself to a large serving of fries at McDonald’s.
I’m on the train. How I loathe everything about this process..
I’m on the train. How I loathe everything about this process! The trains in our country are old and slow; in the summer, they’re unbearably hot, and in the winter, they’re so cold that real snowdrifts form near the doors. There’s only one bathroom for everyone, and it seems to be cleaned just once a day—you can imagine its state and the delightful aromas. The journey from my city to the capital takes 3.5 hours. When I need to travel for classes, I essentially spend two days a week just getting to the train in advance, finding a seat, ...
I love that time just before falling asleep. It’s when you c..
I love that time just before falling asleep. It’s when you can dream about not waking up. These thoughts cannot be taken away by the past day or the one to come—the right to sleep is sacred, and that includes the brief period right before drifting off. Thoughts of there being no more mornings bring joy, lightness, peace, and a pleasant anticipation. It feels like the only time I experience true happiness.
Oh gods!!! I have TWO new fans!!! My popularity is reaching ..
Oh gods!!! I have TWO new fans!!! My popularity is reaching infinity. I’m genuinely curious about how you found me and why you decided to follow. In any case, I’m so happy to have you here, even if you happen to be my former classmates laughing at me. To celebrate this incredible addition to my army, I’m posting this wonderfully non-aesthetic photoshoot. I don’t think I can come up with an intriguing thought to accompany it, so I’ll just tell you a bit about what’s in it.I live in a house that used to have a wood stove but now runs ...
I started playing Dragon Age Veliguard. My laptop barely han..
I started playing Dragon Age Veliguard. My laptop barely handles it, but the game looks stunning. I really like the faces and animations—they look so alive. The cutscenes are amazing, and the battles are visually beautiful. It’s a pity that the dialogues feel very polished. Maybe it will change as I progress, though I’ve only just passed the introduction. Even at this early stage, all the characters seem to be friends and act on the same side with shared beliefs. I miss the atmosphere of physical and social vulnerability and loneliness th...
I wonder—am I what they call a non-binary person? I fully un..
I wonder—am I what they call a non-binary person? I fully understand that biologically I have a woman’s body, the reproductive features of a woman. But when it comes to a sense of self-identification, I simply consider myself a person—in my environment, no “traditionally feminine” traits were ever imposed on me; I chose what felt right within my means. I’m curious about what it feels like to truly perceive oneself as a woman or a man or even a battle helicopter. It seems like I am just a human being; I breathe and live in the world,...
I’ve long noticed that I attract very peculiar people. Eccen..
I’ve long noticed that I attract very peculiar people. Eccentrics, at the very least. Lonely, odd, awkward, with troubled speech and narrow ranges of interests, but emotionally warm. I make a mistake—or perhaps not—by somehow identifying these people in universities, in chats, stumbling upon them by pure chance. And I always have the imprudence to show interest and acceptance toward them, and if there’s a discomforting situation, I rush to defend them. For instance, if we’re working in a group and something needs to be presented, I vo...
I love to daydream, especially about love and perfect, mutua..
I love to daydream, especially about love and perfect, mutual relationships. The archetypes of my “inner men” have always, in one way or another, embodied the dark lord figure. For the past few years, that has been Melkor—the primordial source of evil in the Lord of the Rings universe. I reveled in these fantasies, creating my OC in another world, with her full story, plot, and their relationship. It might have only been a fantasy, but the feelings were real. This went on year after year, saving me during the saddest and dullest times and...
I’m genuinely fascinated by the phenomenon of new iPhones. W..
I’m genuinely fascinated by the phenomenon of new iPhones. When I was in high school, I had a few friends who always had the latest models, and it was simply astonishing. I assumed these kids came from very wealthy families. It never occurred to me back then that when I visited their homes, I saw apartments without wallpaper, warped laminate floors, heaps of old garlic on windowsills, and stained plastic tablecloths on dining tables. To me, they were the rich kids of affluent parents because they had the latest iPhone.When I got to university...
I bite my nails intensely, down to the point of 🩸 and pain. ..
I bite my nails intensely, down to the point of 🩸 and pain. To the point where putting on clothes or washing my hair hurts. And yet, I have absolutely no desire to do this. I first began paying special attention to my fingers when I was around 7 years old. I watched my mom clean between her teeth with her nails—she had very neat, well-maintained hands, and she did it in such a stylish way, with a soft “tsk” sound. It seemed so cool and grown-up to me, even though at that age, I didn’t fully understand what she was doing. I would just...
OMG, I have my first subscriber! I’m so happy, smiling widel..
OMG, I have my first subscriber! I’m so happy, smiling widely while lying in bed after my shower. I didn’t expect this at all! It’s such a joy. Welcome!Today, my mind felt completely empty. Not a bad day, except that the internet went out due to the storm. But that’s okay because I spent the day looking for cute shoes. I really love black lace-up boots with a chunky platform and wide toe to visually balance out fuller legs. Unfortunately, I didn’t find anything I loved in my size 41, so I’ll be stuck with my old, worn-out sneakers. ...
I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever have a first subscriber..
I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever have a first subscriber! When I first created this account, I was praying that no one would ever see it. But today, I’m in the mood to dream. How will they find me? What kind of person will they be? Will they read my posts or just look at the photos? Maybe they’ll subscribe by accident and cancel shortly after. Perhaps they’ll see themselves in my words or feel compassion and support me. Or maybe they’ll find it all terribly cringeworthy, take screenshots, and share them with friends. They might ...
I’ve always been curious about where the idea of stigmatizin..
I’ve always been curious about where the idea of stigmatizing certain personal preferences came from. In my mind, there are simply things that people enjoy which don’t harm anyone and things that bring unwanted suffering, either to others or oneself. The former is fine, the latter isn’t. It should be that straightforward, but it’s not. Society has found ways to shame people for their harmless interests—be it a fondness for animal costumes or any other niche fascination.What’s truly baffling is how certain negative traits, such as in...
Spent the evening with my family at a Halloween park. Surpri..
Spent the evening with my family at a Halloween park. Surprisingly, the whole experience left me with such soft, pleasant feelings—I loved the dragon mask I wore, and I felt so natural and right in it. I adore imagining myself as some mythical creature.But the best part of the night was hugging an actor dressed as a terrifying clown. I asked if we could hug, and he agreed, so we embraced, and I told him I loved him. Those few seconds felt so precious, even though I have no idea who he is. I wonder what he thought.I really love hugging strange...
It feels so strange to live without love. In some way, it’s ..
It feels so strange to live without love. In some way, it’s frightening, though the fear itself is barely noticeable. It’s more like missing steps in the heart, ones that would lead to ecstasy, fullness, and peace.I used to love the band Ghost. Since 2015, I listened to them almost daily. I tried to attend their concerts and, despite the struggles with queues, the crowds, and the waiting, I was always thrilled, always filled with that love. But over the past year, it’s as if that spark has faded. The same songs and melodies that once made...
I often daydream about how wonderful it would be to have ple..
I often daydream about how wonderful it would be to have plenty of money, to live without wearing myself out at an exhausting eight-hour job or in a grueling university where you’re lucky to get three carefree days in half a year. I’ve been studying for so long. One of the top schools in the country, the best class, one difficult degree already finished, another in progress. All of this, just so I can live in peace in my tiny hometown, in the home I love so dearly.I come from a family of doctors, but I never wanted to be one. I’m so lazy ...
I remember the first time I saw my nose in profile. I must h..
I remember the first time I saw my nose in profile. I must have been about 15. I just wanted to take a picture of my ear with a new earring. And then I saw it—a bumpy shape jutting sharply out from a small, rounded forehead. And that lower lip sticking out, the heavy double chin. A disaster. Since then, I’ve lived with the thought that I never want to see myself from the side again. I also began to think about getting a rhinoplasty. I love Greek noses—straight with a soft bridge. I dream of having one like that.But today, for the first ti...
It’s so strange to look at myself and see an aging woman. No..
It’s so strange to look at myself and see an aging woman. Not a girl, not a teenager—but a woman. Now, in my face, I can clearly see how I’ll look at 40 and 60. Time flows so slowly, yet looking back, it feels as if it was never there at all. There is only the present. I’ll never be younger than I am right now.It feels strange spending all this time at home, in solitude, but it’s as if I don’t want anything else, and I don’t have the energy for more. I wonder, are these 26 years really my youth? If youth is supposed to be the best...
Why this place? Maybe because I’m afraid. Because I want to ..
Why this place? Maybe because I’m afraid. Because I want to pour out all my thoughts, to expose my entire nature, however weak or flawed it may be. And I have this strange need for a kind of public openness—even if, in reality, no one actually reads it. I feel like a secret voyeur, hiding in a dark alley.I’m also scared because when I see people I know openly writing about their pain or struggles, I feel embarrassed, irritated, uneasy—like I’ve witnessed something private, something not meant for others’ eyes. Sometimes I’ve even ...
Strangely enough, I was actually on OnlyFans a couple of yea..
Strangely enough, I was actually on OnlyFans a couple of years ago—purely to make some money. I posted a few suggestive photos with simple captions. I wish I could say, “It wasn’t for me” or “I’m above that,” but no. Honestly, I was just too lazy to put in the work—too lazy to post, too lazy to keep up conversations. I genuinely thought getting into med uni would be easier than running an OnlyFans page. And, for me, it really is. It’s easier to stick to a plan, to follow orders, than to try creating something on my own. That...
Greetings, traveler! If you've stumbled upon my page, it's t..
Greetings, traveler! If you've stumbled upon my page, it's truly a wonder—there's no explicit content, no polished photos, no throngs of followers here. In fact, that’s exactly why I created this account. This space is for me. No one knows me here.I’m 26 and still a student, with a degree in biology behind me and two years of medical university under my belt. I've always worked hard, making study and achievement my top priorities. Yet, despite my efforts, I've never been the best or even satisfied with my results. Rece...
