margokuz posts
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my eye started hurting today — blinking felt sharp and uncomfortable. I rinsed it, no change. so I chose stillness. closed my eyes, wrapped myself in music — a soft, magical playlist. and then, almost naturally, I began to move. my hands traced my own skin, not to soothe, but to feel. each touch was slow, curious… like meeting myself again. and somehow, it became a dance. a quiet, sacred one. not for the world — just for me. I filmed fragments. didn’t clean up. didn’t pose. at first it was just for me. but watching it again… I fe...
I’ve been exploring danshari, the japanese art of simplifying life by letting go. not just of stuff — but of anything that doesn’t feel good anymore. I cleaned out my wardrobe first, and felt a surprising wave of mental clarity. then I decluttered my social media. unfollowed anything that didn’t inspire — things that brought tension, negative energy, or just drained me. my digital space feels lighter now. and so do I.
I finally went out today after hiding from songkran for a few days. just a quick trip to the mall. the ride there was calm, but the way back turned into something stressful. the bike taxi driver picked me up, asked where I was from, then used a translator to say he wanted to charge double. I refused. he got pushy, opened his Instagram, and tried to take pictures of me. it felt awful and threatening. I covered my face, told him firmly — either take me home for the original price or drop me back. he chose to drive me home, but did it fast and ...
recently I tried to start my morning with a walk. sunrise in the park sounded peaceful, but I forgot how many active people wake up early too. runners were everywhere, stretching and smiling. I felt awkward — like a soft little cat among tigers. so small and unsure, like I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think my comfort in movement comes from going at my own pace, when no one’s watching. just another little reminder of that. #fyp #sporty #sports #gymgirl #gym #leggings #leggins #fit #workout #yoga
still feeling under the weather. and outside, songkran has started — thai new year. the streets are loud with water fights, pools, and laughter. but last year, this celebration hurt me deeply. I had panic attacks, felt so unsafe, and ended up withdrawing from people for a long time. I’m not ready to go through that again. so this year, my plan is simple: stay home, rest, and protect my peace. it’s my third day in — it’s quiet, and weirdly comforting.
It was the night before my b-day, before 21st of march. a few hours left. music in my ears. the city humming outside. I don’t want to overthink. so I make another video instead. choosing my outfit. getting dressed. and… here’s the result. #fyp #freevideo #tomboy #emo #grunge #altgirl #nonbinary #enby #tiktok #emogirl
yesterday, I randomly felt like watching a movie — just for background while I draw. it doesn’t happen often. I asked chatgpt to suggest something based on how I’ve been lately. one of the films it mentioned was little forest (2018, korean). it looked soft and pretty, so I went for it. the result? visually beautiful, yes. but emotionally… no. I dropped it halfway. even though it seemed peaceful, something about the storyline really hit a nerve for me. I won’t go into details, but it brought up things I’m not ready to face. anywa...
